Wrote a letter this mornin´
Put it in your hat
Cause no one to read it
And I know that you knew that
I bought a joke, a trick or two
Just to bring and show you
Caught ya with the trickster too
Sometimes I wonder how ya knew
A hypnotist, fancy talker
Ruben Remus ain´t no doctor

I knew the man and tried to remember
Just where it was I´d seen his face
Long ago in a movie show
He was like that man singin´ bass
Knew him by his nurs´ry rhyme:
The story of the rabbit man
Fell right in and said to him
"I´d like to help you if I can"
I know the film would only shock ya
Ruben Remus ain´t no doctor!

He only needed what you had
Asked for nothing more
Said he´d like to take you on
But it´s been done before
You couldn´t see he´s a travelin´ man
And he cannot take your hand
It´s very hard to understand
Why his songs were never banned
Medicine man would never knock ya
Ruben Remus ain´t no doctor!

No one seen ya since he´s been gone
It´s been a day, maybe more
I took a walk in your yard
And knocked on your back door
Why won´t you let me in?
I´m not the one who did ya in
Is Mr. Remus still your friend?
You say you don´t remember him
Turn me down, would ya?
Well, I´ve got news for you
Turn me down would ya
Can´t ya tell
I´m gonna change your mind before I´m...
Through