Well, I wake up in the morning, there´s frogs inside my socks
Your mama, she´s hidin´ inside the icebox
Your daddy walks in wearin´ a Napoleon Bonaparte mask
Then you ask why I don´t live here
Honey, do you have to ask?

Well, I go to pet your monkey, I get a face full of claws
I ask who´s in the fireplace and you tell me Santa Claus
The milkman comes in, he´s wearing a derby hat
And you ask why I don´t live here
Honey, how come you have to ask me that?

Well, I asked for somethin´ to eat, I´m hungry as a hog
So I get brown rice, seaweed and a dirty hot dog
I´ve got a hole where my stomach disappeared
Then you ask why I don´t live here
Honey, I gotta´ think you´re really weird

Your grandpa´s cane, it turns into a sword
Your grandma prays to pictures that are pasted on a board
Everything inside my pockets your uncle steals
And you ask why I don´t live here
Honey, I can´t believe that you´re for real

There´s fistfights in the kitchen, they´re enough to make me cry
Little mailman comes in, even he´s got to take a side
Even the butler, he´s got something to prove
Then you ask why I don´t live here
Honey, how come you don´t move?